Physical distancing, confinements and generally reducing contact with other people have affected us in some way. After all, humans are social beings and we need to establish and feel bonds with each other . Although these holidays have not been as they usually are, we think that perhaps they are a good time to reflect on listening in our most intimate circles. During times when we usually get together with our loved ones, when we think about communication with our loved ones and family. It is possible that some of us may think of the image of two family members arguing about some topic during a family meal. At first, the conversation develops smoothly, but as the evening progresses. It seems that the interlocutors become tense, the air becomes hot and communication becomes difficult, even becoming violent. This does not mean that violent acts as such occur, but rather that people can feel violated ; attacked, questioned, humiliated. We do not always know how to carry out efficient, affectionate and relaxed communication. And even with our most loved people, sometimes we fail to listen.
In order to listen
We must not judge One of the maxims of non-violent communication is that in order to listen, we must not judge what our interlocutor tells us. Many misunderstandings and tensions arise from the instantaneous interpretation we make of what we observe. Whether it is something the other person tells us or something they do. Depending on how that Oman Number Data interpretation makes us feel, we will tend to give a positive or negative value to the action. Let’s say that a person does something that we don’t like. We could react, for example, in the following two ways. Option I think what you are doing is not right, why do you do it like this? You have to do it this other way. What you have done has made me feel sad, because I have felt that it questions my own way of doing it.” What is the difference between these two options? While the first focuses on the other person’s actions, the second option focuses on how the other person’s actions make us feel. When we talk to boys and girls in our immediate environment, something similar may happen.
The girl gets angry
Perhaps, as adults, we feel responsible for their behavior. And that is why we want to convey to them the value of sharing. This may lead us to order him to share his toy . However, active and judgment-free listening will let us see that possibly the reason why he does not. Want to share his toy is not selfishness. Maybe it’s because you’re afraid of losing him. Do we want to Estonia Phone Number List force her to share the toy by putting our needs ahead of hers? While we, as adults, may have the need for her to be kind and share about her, she, in that moment, has the need to protect herself from what she considers a threat. Aren’t the two needs equally legitimate? In order to understand the needs of children beyond what boys, girls and adolescents show or tell us, active listening is necessary . Actively listening to children requires, among other things, distinguishing between our needs and those of that girl or boy. By identifying their needs and respecting them, we will avoid imposing our will for the mere fact of being adults.
